The GOP laid out a pile of cash to clothe the Palin family for the Lower 48 campaign … well, of course; replacing Alaska plaid with clothes that are not lined with fur has got to cost a lot.
ooo
Polls say Shockin’ Sarah’s stock with women voters is way down. As it should be. Personal experience taught me that women are tougher judges of other women than of men.
When a female manager screws up, her female workers will judge her harshly, but let a man with the same error off easy. After all, he’s a man. And she’s a bitch.
ooo
Gotta say, every Alaskan I met on my 2000 cruise from Anchorage-Seward to Vancouver was pleasant and helpful. They live on the coast, however. Inlanders might be meaner.
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22 October 2008
The first month of my Presidency ...
If I were Obama … in the first month of my Presidency, I would:
1. Order Gitmo closed within three months; transfer all prisoners to the D.C. area; publish their names, arrest data and current location; reclaim all farmed-out for questioning (torture) prisoners; publish all trial transcripts.
1a. Give Guantanamo back to Cuba; saves lots of money.
2. Order withdrawal of all U.S. military from Iraq, with deadline.
3. Order changes in airline passenger screening: shoes stay on; disabled people stay in wheel chairs; no touching the passengers; no detaining anybody for longer than 30 minutes.
4. Suspend the no-fly list so it can be reduced to a reasonable number of names; remove non-terrorists; limit who can add to the list.
5. Restore habeas corpus, no exceptions.
6. Ban warrant-less searches by any agency.
7. Ban warrant-less phone taps, in the U.S. and out.
7a. Destroy recordings of pillow-talk, etc., conversations.
8. Buy the Afghan opium crop. Destroy it. Hire Afghan farmers to grow ethanol-yielding crops. Same for Colombia, Mexico.
9. Rehire people who were kicked out of government service because of sexual orientation, especially Arabic-speakers.
10. Suspend the “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule. Cancel any pending expulsions. Tell the homophobes to get over it or get out.
11. Assign special prosecutor to investigate claims of voter fraud.
12. Establish one-payer health-care experiment; sign up poverty-level uninsured, plus people 15% over poverty level. Tell insurance companies to shut up.
13. Freeze all foreclosures, retroactive to people who have not yet moved out, or whose houses are not yet occupied so that they can move back in. Roll back mortgages to the first-year interest rate and payment level.
14. Freeze all student-loan liens; restructure.
15. Tell California that if it still wants tougher auto-emission standards, it can have them; order EPA to comply. Tell Detroit puppets to get stuffed.
16. Freeze No Child Left Behind act. Tell companies profiting from testing to shut up.
17. Suspend all death-penalty prosecutions; study application of capital punishment as applied to race, mental status, poverty, specific crimes.
18. Remind everybody that “you can’t use the government to make people live by your religion.”
19. Offer two tax-free years to builders of solar farms and wind farms if they get permit process started within six months. Two more tax-free years if they begin construction within nine months.
19a. Offer tax-free years to builders of electricity storage and transfer systems if they start permit process and building within nine months.
19b. Whack states up longside the head if they screw around with permits. But, monitor environmental impacts, etc.
19c. Offer tax-free years to fuel-cell inventors and start pilot programs.
19d. Offer incentives to towns that create plug-ins for electric cars.
20. Suspend daylight saving time for two years to see if it actually saves anything.
21. Speed up handling of immigration requests. Shorten waiting periods. Reduce time for re-entry of people deported but now applying for visas.
21a. Introduce a form for illegals to fill out that becomes a reapplication for an expired visa or for a first visa. Available at Post Offices, other federal offices. No blow-back for applying.
22. Eliminate the deal whereby war-zone mercenaries aren’t covered by any laws, U.S. or Iraqi.
23. Spotlight the frequency of oil leaks and other dangers of off-shore oil drilling; clear the way for drilling.
24. Offer incentives to companies to build new oil refineries in the U.S., linked with alternative energy projects.
25. Increase aid to cities for mass-transit projects.
26. Go surfing.
1. Order Gitmo closed within three months; transfer all prisoners to the D.C. area; publish their names, arrest data and current location; reclaim all farmed-out for questioning (torture) prisoners; publish all trial transcripts.
1a. Give Guantanamo back to Cuba; saves lots of money.
2. Order withdrawal of all U.S. military from Iraq, with deadline.
3. Order changes in airline passenger screening: shoes stay on; disabled people stay in wheel chairs; no touching the passengers; no detaining anybody for longer than 30 minutes.
4. Suspend the no-fly list so it can be reduced to a reasonable number of names; remove non-terrorists; limit who can add to the list.
5. Restore habeas corpus, no exceptions.
6. Ban warrant-less searches by any agency.
7. Ban warrant-less phone taps, in the U.S. and out.
7a. Destroy recordings of pillow-talk, etc., conversations.
8. Buy the Afghan opium crop. Destroy it. Hire Afghan farmers to grow ethanol-yielding crops. Same for Colombia, Mexico.
9. Rehire people who were kicked out of government service because of sexual orientation, especially Arabic-speakers.
10. Suspend the “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule. Cancel any pending expulsions. Tell the homophobes to get over it or get out.
11. Assign special prosecutor to investigate claims of voter fraud.
12. Establish one-payer health-care experiment; sign up poverty-level uninsured, plus people 15% over poverty level. Tell insurance companies to shut up.
13. Freeze all foreclosures, retroactive to people who have not yet moved out, or whose houses are not yet occupied so that they can move back in. Roll back mortgages to the first-year interest rate and payment level.
14. Freeze all student-loan liens; restructure.
15. Tell California that if it still wants tougher auto-emission standards, it can have them; order EPA to comply. Tell Detroit puppets to get stuffed.
16. Freeze No Child Left Behind act. Tell companies profiting from testing to shut up.
17. Suspend all death-penalty prosecutions; study application of capital punishment as applied to race, mental status, poverty, specific crimes.
18. Remind everybody that “you can’t use the government to make people live by your religion.”
19. Offer two tax-free years to builders of solar farms and wind farms if they get permit process started within six months. Two more tax-free years if they begin construction within nine months.
19a. Offer tax-free years to builders of electricity storage and transfer systems if they start permit process and building within nine months.
19b. Whack states up longside the head if they screw around with permits. But, monitor environmental impacts, etc.
19c. Offer tax-free years to fuel-cell inventors and start pilot programs.
19d. Offer incentives to towns that create plug-ins for electric cars.
20. Suspend daylight saving time for two years to see if it actually saves anything.
21. Speed up handling of immigration requests. Shorten waiting periods. Reduce time for re-entry of people deported but now applying for visas.
21a. Introduce a form for illegals to fill out that becomes a reapplication for an expired visa or for a first visa. Available at Post Offices, other federal offices. No blow-back for applying.
22. Eliminate the deal whereby war-zone mercenaries aren’t covered by any laws, U.S. or Iraqi.
23. Spotlight the frequency of oil leaks and other dangers of off-shore oil drilling; clear the way for drilling.
24. Offer incentives to companies to build new oil refineries in the U.S., linked with alternative energy projects.
25. Increase aid to cities for mass-transit projects.
26. Go surfing.
14 October 2008
McCain’s humor woes
The AP quotes Sen. J.S. McCain, R-Ariz., on Oct. 13:
"The national media has written us off. Sen. Obama is measuring the drapes," McCain told a few thousand supporters. "My friends, we've got 'em just where we want 'em."
“We've got 'em just where we want 'em” … is a variation on the punchline of an old joke (no joke is old if you’ve never heard it before). Naturally, I can’t remember the joke verbatim but it might go something like:
A hunter tracking a bear is suddenly jumped by the critter, knocked down and thrown about. His hunting partner yells, “Mac, how can I help?”
As the bear goes for his throat, Mac says, “Don’t worry, I’ve got him just where I want him.”
Or something like that.
And the MSM doesn’t laugh? McCain’s a funny guy.
Politically a nightmare for the country, but at least as funny as Letterman.
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"The national media has written us off. Sen. Obama is measuring the drapes," McCain told a few thousand supporters. "My friends, we've got 'em just where we want 'em."
“We've got 'em just where we want 'em” … is a variation on the punchline of an old joke (no joke is old if you’ve never heard it before). Naturally, I can’t remember the joke verbatim but it might go something like:
A hunter tracking a bear is suddenly jumped by the critter, knocked down and thrown about. His hunting partner yells, “Mac, how can I help?”
As the bear goes for his throat, Mac says, “Don’t worry, I’ve got him just where I want him.”
Or something like that.
And the MSM doesn’t laugh? McCain’s a funny guy.
Politically a nightmare for the country, but at least as funny as Letterman.
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09 October 2008
You read it here first
Obama's poll numbers are stronger, swing states are tilting his way, Gomer Palin's empty mind is evident ...
John McCain's gonna win.
The country and the world needs to be shed of the GOP's base, which is steeped in hate and superstition. Naturally, their "leader" — who can't figure out how to lead — will prevail. That's not just my natural pessimism talking.
McCain knows how to capture Bin Laden? Why doesn't he just DO it? In the next three weeks. No need ... enough stupid voters will believe his bullpucky.
John McCain's gonna win.
We're so screwed.
-30-
John McCain's gonna win.
The country and the world needs to be shed of the GOP's base, which is steeped in hate and superstition. Naturally, their "leader" — who can't figure out how to lead — will prevail. That's not just my natural pessimism talking.
McCain knows how to capture Bin Laden? Why doesn't he just DO it? In the next three weeks. No need ... enough stupid voters will believe his bullpucky.
John McCain's gonna win.
We're so screwed.
-30-
08 October 2008
Seeing red ... urh ... pink
Saw a TV clip of a McCain rally where the senator was standing in front of supporters holding McCain-Palin signs ... colored pink.
Pink.
For a military hero.
Pink.
For the man who wants to be leader of the free world.
Pink.
As in p-whipped. And I don't mean pink.
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Pink.
For a military hero.
Pink.
For the man who wants to be leader of the free world.
Pink.
As in p-whipped. And I don't mean pink.
-30-
07 October 2008
Where's Herb Caen when we need him?
The U.S. Treasury tabbed a guy named Neel Kashkari to run the $700 billion bailout and rescue operation for those reckless fools in finance.
Kash kari ...
Cash and carry.
Ah, man ...
-30-
Kash kari ...
Cash and carry.
Ah, man ...
-30-
06 October 2008
Ahead of their time
So now Shockin' Sarah's beating the dead-horse fact that Barry O'Bama served on a committee with a former member of the Weather Underground, when they lived in the same neighborhood.
Some 35-38 years ago, the Weather Underground bombed the Dean Witter stock brokerage office in downtown Reno. That's not terrorism, that's political commentary, but three decades too early. Now's the time to get them brokerages.
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Some 35-38 years ago, the Weather Underground bombed the Dean Witter stock brokerage office in downtown Reno. That's not terrorism, that's political commentary, but three decades too early. Now's the time to get them brokerages.
-30-
05 October 2008
W. got a sex change
Shock of realization, conceived a couple weeks ago but unwritten then: Sarah Palin is loved by the GOP "base" because she is George W. Bush, with tits. Fortunately for my sanity, I'm not the only person who noticed.
The inability to speak in coherent sentences that haven't been fed to her, the Wasilla valley accent that's almost a parody of W's mush-mouthed fake-Texas accent, the cocky smile and winks, the utter incuriosity about the world beyond America, the flinging-about of cliched buzz words with patriotic coating ... I'd go on, but I have to barf now.
And she's going to win the election for McBush.
Will somebody loan me $40,000 so I can emigrate to New Zealand? Please?
-30-
The inability to speak in coherent sentences that haven't been fed to her, the Wasilla valley accent that's almost a parody of W's mush-mouthed fake-Texas accent, the cocky smile and winks, the utter incuriosity about the world beyond America, the flinging-about of cliched buzz words with patriotic coating ... I'd go on, but I have to barf now.
And she's going to win the election for McBush.
Will somebody loan me $40,000 so I can emigrate to New Zealand? Please?
-30-
02 October 2008
Tap that keg
"Sarah six-pack?" Speaking for Joe Six-pack? if Shockin' Sarah's talking about six-packs of beer ... Joe Six-pack is on his way to alcoholism, if not already there; he's usually drunk off his butt all weekend. I don't want Joe Six-pack in the White House.
If she's talking about the six-pack of muscles, men with six-packs are narcissistic jerks who prefer to watch themselves in the mirror rather than participate in real life.
-30-
If she's talking about the six-pack of muscles, men with six-packs are narcissistic jerks who prefer to watch themselves in the mirror rather than participate in real life.
-30-
True calling
Shockin' Sarah P. is a classic beauty pageant contestant, projecting a blank slate on which her audience can paste any personality it imagines. This quality creates movie stars such as Tom Cruise and Errol Flynn, as compared with actors such as Dustin Hoffman and Robert Downey Jr. Tommie is always Tommie, while Dustin disappears into a character.
Gov. Palin fakes answers like a Miss America competitor, tapdancing in her own bullshit.
-30--
Gov. Palin fakes answers like a Miss America competitor, tapdancing in her own bullshit.
-30--
01 October 2008
Johnny, Billy and Sarah
Quick thoughts:
It's not the time, it's the wear and tear. John McCain might be 72 chronologically, but we should add 5.5 years to account for the mental and physical toll the POW years piled on. Compound interest, so to speak. He's way too old for the Oval Office, wear and tear wise.
Can Bill Clinton's weak start supporting Obama be attributed to the fact that WJC is from Arkansas, a fine, fine state centered in that bastion of racism, the American South? No matter how decently his grandparents treated everybody, Billy grew up steeped in the bone-deep race hatred that thrives in Southern towns ... it's inescapable. Few people ever manage to shed it completely.
If I find the courage to watch the Biden-Palin debate and she says anything so stupid that I throw something at my TV and break it, can I sue the GOP for damages?
-30-
It's not the time, it's the wear and tear. John McCain might be 72 chronologically, but we should add 5.5 years to account for the mental and physical toll the POW years piled on. Compound interest, so to speak. He's way too old for the Oval Office, wear and tear wise.
Can Bill Clinton's weak start supporting Obama be attributed to the fact that WJC is from Arkansas, a fine, fine state centered in that bastion of racism, the American South? No matter how decently his grandparents treated everybody, Billy grew up steeped in the bone-deep race hatred that thrives in Southern towns ... it's inescapable. Few people ever manage to shed it completely.
If I find the courage to watch the Biden-Palin debate and she says anything so stupid that I throw something at my TV and break it, can I sue the GOP for damages?
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