The reason I'm not joyfully awaiting "Caprica," spinoff from "Battlestar Galactica:" All the multiple gods versus one god nonsense. And a human as creator of a new race.
Your god-my gods worked for Cylons and humans searching for their planet of origin, but a little religion goes a long way. Especially a fictional religion.
More and more Americans are dumping organized religion, but here's a "science fiction" TV show playing it front and center.
Don't preach, boys. No matter how good you tell stories, you can't make religion real.
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29 January 2010
Personality transplant needed but not wanted
OK, yet more proof that I am out of step in 21st century USA:
I do not want "friends" on Facebook. I do not want to chat electronically, look at their vacation photos, or anything else. I do not want pages on Google, Phatchat or anywhere else. I do not care, will never care about them, and I want them the hell out of my face. (Six — count 'em six — emails from Facebook today because I clicked OK to I know not what via Facebook for a friend in Seattle.)
I do not want mousers knowing every last thing about me and my life. "None of your damn business" is a phrase not used nearly enough.
And yet, here I am, posting my bitchy little whine on a social networking site.
Contradiction personified.
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I do not want "friends" on Facebook. I do not want to chat electronically, look at their vacation photos, or anything else. I do not want pages on Google, Phatchat or anywhere else. I do not care, will never care about them, and I want them the hell out of my face. (Six — count 'em six — emails from Facebook today because I clicked OK to I know not what via Facebook for a friend in Seattle.)
I do not want mousers knowing every last thing about me and my life. "None of your damn business" is a phrase not used nearly enough.
And yet, here I am, posting my bitchy little whine on a social networking site.
Contradiction personified.
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27 January 2010
Pardon me whilst I surf
Not dead in Hollywood — "NCIS" episode Jan. 26 placed a major clue in a dead man's safe: a file of newspaper clippings.
I guess TV drama producers haven't noticed that print papers are old hat.
On the other hand, printouts from Web sites just don't have the visual impact of full-page headlines about unsolved murders.
***
Galactic impressions — The pilot movie for the next "Battlestar Galactica" TV series, "Caprica," proves why BSG was such a big hit in the small pond of sci-fi audiences.
Take away the spaceships and chrome toasters, and you'd never know it was science fiction. Everybody looked, dressed, talked and behaved just like 21-century Americans. Tobacco, booze, telephones. Not to forget Starbuck's Hummer.
No space aliens to creep out the unimaginative; no "doesn't-look-like-me and my friends." Just comforting, non-threatening Americans. Mostly pink-skinned, too.
This brilliant concept got around a major roadblock: U.S. TV viewers' deep-seated fear (and hate) of people who are "different."
The first two hours of "Caprica" exhibits the same concept, which is good for drawing an audience but very bad for science fiction, in any format.
"Caprica," however, needs to lighten up, add a character or five with a passion for life. No matter the genre, character sells the show.
***
Howling with laughter — A fact that Jay Leno and NBC missed but David Letterman and Conan O'Brien recognize: People who watch late-night TV have mentalities vastly different from the "lights out" at 10:30 p.m. crowd.
Laughter may be universal, but sense of humor varies from person to person.
I used to work for a man who thought 6 a.m. was an actual hour. One day, we were talking about an auto wreck that occurred at 2 a.m. on a weeknight. This morning lark could not imagine where the injured woman was going at 2 a.m. "What on earth was she doing?" is a paraphrase. Here's a sample: Buying groceries, gasoline or fast-food hamburgers, meeting friends after working the late shift, making whoopie ...
The world doesn't stop when the sky turns out the light.
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I guess TV drama producers haven't noticed that print papers are old hat.
On the other hand, printouts from Web sites just don't have the visual impact of full-page headlines about unsolved murders.
***
Galactic impressions — The pilot movie for the next "Battlestar Galactica" TV series, "Caprica," proves why BSG was such a big hit in the small pond of sci-fi audiences.
Take away the spaceships and chrome toasters, and you'd never know it was science fiction. Everybody looked, dressed, talked and behaved just like 21-century Americans. Tobacco, booze, telephones. Not to forget Starbuck's Hummer.
No space aliens to creep out the unimaginative; no "doesn't-look-like-me and my friends." Just comforting, non-threatening Americans. Mostly pink-skinned, too.
This brilliant concept got around a major roadblock: U.S. TV viewers' deep-seated fear (and hate) of people who are "different."
The first two hours of "Caprica" exhibits the same concept, which is good for drawing an audience but very bad for science fiction, in any format.
"Caprica," however, needs to lighten up, add a character or five with a passion for life. No matter the genre, character sells the show.
***
Howling with laughter — A fact that Jay Leno and NBC missed but David Letterman and Conan O'Brien recognize: People who watch late-night TV have mentalities vastly different from the "lights out" at 10:30 p.m. crowd.
Laughter may be universal, but sense of humor varies from person to person.
I used to work for a man who thought 6 a.m. was an actual hour. One day, we were talking about an auto wreck that occurred at 2 a.m. on a weeknight. This morning lark could not imagine where the injured woman was going at 2 a.m. "What on earth was she doing?" is a paraphrase. Here's a sample: Buying groceries, gasoline or fast-food hamburgers, meeting friends after working the late shift, making whoopie ...
The world doesn't stop when the sky turns out the light.
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24 January 2010
Smokin'
Medicine isn't always a good thing: TV commercials tout a drug, Chantix, to help quit smoking tobacco. Now there's other commericals from lawyers looking for people made sick by Chantix. Cold turkey, anybody?
***
TV cliches that produce yelling at my TV:
* A doctor says to a patient's family: "We're doing everything we can," or "We're doing the best we can." Gee, would medical people skip treatments, because they don't feel like "doing everything we can"? Real writers can come up with better, but TV producers and the network suits' imagination is brain-dead.
* One man calling another man "son." Lt. Caine of "CSI Miami" and Gen. Hammond of "Stargate SG-1" do this all the time, and it drives me bats. He's not the father. Age does not automatically bring wisdom. If an older woman called me "daughter," I'd tell her to kiss off. Not politely.
* Deceased shills such as Billie Mays should be off the air. Dead men can't sell.
* CPR done wrong, especially by characters who should know better, like police. The only person I've seen lately doing it right was Hawkeye in a rerun of "MASH." Way to go, Mr. Alda.
* Cooking shows or travel programs that show people eating. Chew with that mouth closed, please.
-30-
***
TV cliches that produce yelling at my TV:
* A doctor says to a patient's family: "We're doing everything we can," or "We're doing the best we can." Gee, would medical people skip treatments, because they don't feel like "doing everything we can"? Real writers can come up with better, but TV producers and the network suits' imagination is brain-dead.
* One man calling another man "son." Lt. Caine of "CSI Miami" and Gen. Hammond of "Stargate SG-1" do this all the time, and it drives me bats. He's not the father. Age does not automatically bring wisdom. If an older woman called me "daughter," I'd tell her to kiss off. Not politely.
* Deceased shills such as Billie Mays should be off the air. Dead men can't sell.
* CPR done wrong, especially by characters who should know better, like police. The only person I've seen lately doing it right was Hawkeye in a rerun of "MASH." Way to go, Mr. Alda.
* Cooking shows or travel programs that show people eating. Chew with that mouth closed, please.
-30-
19 January 2010
Why I dislike "marketing" methods
I just viewed a 30-minute presentation for an online job-search assistance company, and, wow, am I impressed. Thirty minutes and not one word about what it costs. Perfect performance, marketing weasels.
Thirty minutes and not one actual, usable fact. If they want my business, they should have put the price tag up front.
Last week, I signed up at a forgettable online job board and now I get emails from some broad wanting $400 to write a "good" resume for me.
If I don't get a job soon, I'm going into the "help jobseekers" business.
Twenty years in print journalism left cynicism deeply engrained in my personality. Answers up front, people. You're not U.S. Congresscritters, people. If you want to sell something, don't pretend you're not a used-car salesman.
The gentleman called "Honest John" who sold me two leather purses in Nogales, Mexico, was more "honest" than these jokers.
-30-
Thirty minutes and not one actual, usable fact. If they want my business, they should have put the price tag up front.
Last week, I signed up at a forgettable online job board and now I get emails from some broad wanting $400 to write a "good" resume for me.
If I don't get a job soon, I'm going into the "help jobseekers" business.
Twenty years in print journalism left cynicism deeply engrained in my personality. Answers up front, people. You're not U.S. Congresscritters, people. If you want to sell something, don't pretend you're not a used-car salesman.
The gentleman called "Honest John" who sold me two leather purses in Nogales, Mexico, was more "honest" than these jokers.
-30-
11 January 2010
Keep your hand off my wallet
I just rudely hung up on a fundraiser for some fraternal order of police.
Don't these people get paid? Don't they have health insurance?
Why do they beg for money from the public when the tax-paying public has already paid them?
What a scam.
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Don't these people get paid? Don't they have health insurance?
Why do they beg for money from the public when the tax-paying public has already paid them?
What a scam.
-30-
03 January 2010
All atwitter in the locker room
While I filled out a couple of online job applications just now, I came to wonder why application forms still differentiate between telephone numbers and cell phone numbers. Cell phones are everywhere. What does it possibly matter what hardware is on the far end of a phone call?
---
"News" headline on some Web site commented on Kathy Griffin dropping the "F-bomb" on live TV. Grow the hell up, people. "F-bomb" happens. Have no TV people the ability to think about actual important events? Have they no respect for their viewers? Crude language, hookers mislabeled as "mistress" to Tiger W. ... even in the 24/7 pressure cooker, there should be ideas of more importance than what 15-year-olds titter about in the locker room.
And, no, this complaint does not make me an old fogey.
-30-
---
"News" headline on some Web site commented on Kathy Griffin dropping the "F-bomb" on live TV. Grow the hell up, people. "F-bomb" happens. Have no TV people the ability to think about actual important events? Have they no respect for their viewers? Crude language, hookers mislabeled as "mistress" to Tiger W. ... even in the 24/7 pressure cooker, there should be ideas of more importance than what 15-year-olds titter about in the locker room.
And, no, this complaint does not make me an old fogey.
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