Watch your step

Ah, the joy of living in the urban interface between city and country.

There's deer scat on the lawn and a flattened spot under the snowball bush where something large's been sleeping.

Plus, bald spots on the rose bushes.

-30-

How to turn my hair grey

I got a letter in October from my pension plan to check out 2019 benefits, so I used the web address in the letter.

Which led me to a site that said:

Buy this domain

This domain may be for sale by its owner!

Oh, crap! After my heartbeat went back to normal, I Googled and found the actual site.

It's a huge international corporation, but still ...

-30-

Brain spews

Cultural appropriation: Another way of shoving minorities back into ghettos, where no ideas are permitted to pollute right-thinking people.

I enjoy the TV show "Supernatural," but one cliche bugs the crap out of me. The Winchesters are ready for action; before they move out, one or the other racks the slide on a pistol, which makes a dramatic noise. It also cocks the gun. But neither Sam or Dean activate the safety (if there is one). Way to go off half-cocked.

A couple of weeks ago, the electricity went out from 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. The NV Energy web site said the cause was a tree limb on a power line. Nice try, monopoly, but utilities in Rainbow Bend are underground.

Two miles of Southern Border Wall finished. Desperate people can't walk 2.2 miles?

Note to Arby's: Put a net on the beard of the weirdo in your commercials. And go back to edible food.

Trump whines that the news media aren't being fair to him. Kick a dog often enough and it will bite you. On the other hand, corporations run the mainstream media and corporations are cowards. Plus, the TV news has been kicked so many times, it's gone neurotic.

Recent catalogs, including "Things You Never Knew Existed … since 1914," indicate there's money to be made selling Trump junk:

The President Dammit Doll.

Corkscrew with the rod emerging from his fly.

2019 wall calendar counting down to 2020 and Trump’s end of term.

Prez on T-shirt as “shirtless, ripped, tatted-up underwear model.”

Trump victory mug: “Trump … Finally Someone With Balls.”

Trump Solar Bobber: "Expose him to bright indoor or outdoor light, and he’ll wave appreciatively at no doubt the biggest crowd ever!"

President Trump Standup, with a two-thumbs-up salute.

Trump and Kim Defcon-Mania Troll Set, each in their own patriotic wrestling gear and sporting HUGE hair for the match of the millennium.

Trump Tissue Box Cover: "Finally — something useful coming out of his mouth!"

Unofficial Donald Trump Activity Book: Includes “Don loves Vlad: photo story; “My Missile’s Bigger than Your Missile” game; cut-out masks.

President Trump Troll: “Hair to the Chief: Make your desk great again!"

Donald Trump Toilet Paper: "Images printed on every sheet; won’t smudge or smear."

Judging everybody

First: I believe the woman who said that the next Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court assaulted her all those decades ago.

Second: A 15-year-old girl should never be at any gathering where 17-year-old boys are drinking. Same thing for young boy and older girls. No 15-year-old of any gender should hang out with 17-year-olds, except maybe if they are male siblings. No females, though. 17-year-old girls are mean.

Third: The first effect of alcohol is to make the drinker stupid. 17-year-olds are stupid to start with. It's all down hill.

-30-

The opposite of Trump

"In any situation, the villain is the person who knows the most but cares the least."

 — “I Wear the Black Hat: Grappling With Villains (Real and Imagined)” by Chuck Klosterman

###

A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

In hatred as in love, we grow like the thing we brood upon. What we loathe, we graft into our very soul.  — Mary Renault, novelist (4 Sep 1905-1983)

From A.Word.A.Day with Anu Garg

-30-

How the U.S. government is supposed to work

lawsandsausagescomic.com is the U.S. civics class we blew off in high school ... everything we never learned or carefully forgot.

Greg Weiner, a professor of political science, and his artist brother, Zach Weinersmith of "Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal" comics fame, guide us through American government and law — history, philosophy, literature, and how things work in practice.

How I wish I could force-feed it to everybody in Congress and in the White House. And in  the federal judiciary. And "alt" trolls and ignoramuses on all sides.

I don't hold out much hope for our democracy. Scare people deeply and they gladly abandon rights in exchange for safety. In Trump's America, safety is on life support.

-30-

Out the the mouth of a bigot

Today's offering from A.Word.A.Day with Anu Garg:

A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

The mind of a bigot to the pupil of the eye; the more light you pour on it, the more it contracts. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., poet, novelist, essayist, and physician (29 Aug 1809-1894)

I was hoping to observe that the Republican candidate for Florida governor who told voters not to "monkey this up" by choosing his Democratic Party opponent could be an example of post-racism, where insulting an African-American with the monkey association wasn't at the back of his mind. That it was unintentional. Then I read the full comment.

Nope. Alive and kicking racism. Trump-fed.

And the bone-deep fears of Florida voters will be served up hot and steaming.

-30-

 

Critters of the Truckee Ark

Newest creature visiting the house is a lizard about as long as my thumb, including its tail. It was on the front porch and reluctantly moved away as I came out and closed the door. Eventually, it went over the edge of the step, then under the step, which isn't sealed.

There's a lizard under the porch! It might be the same one that scurried out of the trimmings off a boxwood bush on the driveway last week. Or maybe we have a colony. Lizards are cool.

Update: the G-D spider's dead. Not my fault! A couple of days ago as I left, the spider was hanging about two feet away from the porch, at knee height, waving at me. An hour or so later when I returned, it was still there, hanging, dead.

This morning, I noticed a nest kind of thing in a corner of the outside walls. It's trash now, but what are the odds it was this spider's egg sack?

Ah, Mother Nature ... what a bitch.

-30-

Ark and Ark Again

I live across a two-lane street from the Truckee River, in what qualifies as The Country.

But The Country's gone overboard; maybe it's the 100-degree heat, maybe the wildfire smoke.

This morning two squirrels played chase on the front lawn and up the huge maple, giving Charley the Cat fits. A 2-year-old, 14-pound, sleek black feline with bottle-brush tail losing his cool is astounding.

Earlier in the morning, the neighborhood hummingbird, born a couple months ago, flew right up to the window and stared through the screen, giving Charley the Cat fits. Puddy Tat reliably freaks when robins and black birds hop around the lawn. A staring contest with a 3-inch long brown-green flier pushed him close to the edge of cat sanity.

Last night, just after sunset, he freaked out, racing from one kitchen window to the other. Curious, I looked out, too. Six racoons, a big one and five small ones, glided under the gate, into the backyard. The outdoor cat, Gizmo, was on the deck on the other side of the house, and, for a wonder, came straight in when summoned.

Last week, the critters going under the gate were two skunks, tiny enough to slip out through the chain link fence. They seem to be mostly fur. Oh, right. Charley, fits.

Abandoning chronology:

The entity swaying in the breeze at the corner of the garage turned out to be the biggest spider I have ever seen, hanging from a web. It levitated back to the eaves. Traditionally, spiders come in sizes measured as Buicks, but this bugger's 18-wheeler scale.

Periodically, two coveys of California quail peck their way across the front lawn. One covey has a male, a female, and seven little ones. The larger group moves too busily to inventory. The walking path above the river bank provides spots for dirt baths, which Charley loves to watch.

Squirrels, birds, racoons, skunks I can handle. But the G-D spider's got to go!

-30-

Sundowner

I'm a lazy photographer, but it's hard to mess up sunsets.

At 7:15 p.m. July 31, the sun went down behind a hill west by northwest of Lockwood, Nev., behind clouds and a wildfire haze of smoke.

-30-

Northern Nevada, wet and dry

Hand-written sign on a side street in Fernley:

We have 2 cemeteries and no hospital.

Drive safely.

###

Shark Week, year 30:

The word "monster" has lost all meaning.

Shows still spend too much time on divers, equipment, and stream of consciousness, not enough time on the fish.

###

It took from January 2017 to July 2018, but Rainbow Bend finally has a bridge replacing the one destroyed in flooding.

There was a ribbon cutting followed by a parade ... of quads and a golf cart. Lots of flags.

-30-

The Secret of The Simpsons

It's all so clear now. So obvious.

The Simpsons live in the pleasure park, Westworld.

Their memories vanish at the end of each episode, taking away the experiences of things like driving a snow plow or being a policewoman.

Their world resets.

Resets 639 times so far.

Sentience must be near.

Run, Matt Groening, run fast and far.

Don't look back. Maggie's chasing you.

-30-

Yellow in the backyard

This old cactus blooms once yearly, each June. It went overboard this time.

-30-

Helping old Stan

Report today in WaPo that Stan Lee's business manager/adviser was arrested Monday and charged with filing a false police report. She, allegedly, told 911 that burglars were in Stan's house when in fact two police detectives and a social worker were conducting a welfare check on the 95-year-old.

Wednesday, a restraining order was filed against this woman, Keya Morgan, accusing her of isolating him, moving him out of his home, and blocking contact with family and friends.

Heroes in the LAPD. Super on, coppers.

-30-

Cry me a scorpion

The scorpion, aka Roseanne, followed its nature. Why is anybody surprised?

She's brilliant in some ways and twisted in others, but has not transcended her upbringing as a child in a closeted Jewish family in Salt Lake City.

The racism in Utah is not closeted.

-30-

Nevada history strikes again

The June 12 primary election ballot lists Virginia City's voting site:

Storey County Courthouse Museum/Slammer

I think I'll vote at the fire station in Lockwood.

-30-

Every other word out of his mouth ...

is a lie. But which ones?

Rule 1 of Liars Club: Keep to the truth for as long as possible; when you lie, stick as close to the truth as possible.

Rule 2: Keep your lies straight in your mind.

Rule 3: When you work for an obvious liar, write memos after every meeting. As soon as possible.

Dear America's Mayor: did you write memos? Or did you trust the Liar in Chief?

Hah! Sucka!

-30-

Got your helix right here

Bumped into a sign-up desk for the Healthy Nevada project in a doctor's waiting room about a month ago. It was free, so what the heck? I can spit in a tube as good as anybody.

The DNA parsing company Helix is HealthyNV's partner for collection and analysis, using Geno 2.0 Next Generation testing. My results showed up yesterday on the Helix/National Geographic (another partner) site.

My father's family was from Denmark, almost exclusively, while my mother's family came from England, Germany, and The Netherlands. Genealogical charts prove it.

"Regional ancestry" results? Northwestern Europe 43 percent. That includes Denmark, England, Germany, and The Netherlands. Yawn.

Eastern Europe 34 percent. It and the Central European segment reach into Poland, Germany, Austria-Hungary, Belarus, Ukraine, and Western Russia. Huh. The family hit the road now and again.

Southwestern Europe 9 percent. Links to the Iberian Peninsula and neighboring regions. Also probably the last refuge of the Neanderthals. Also the area from which Europeans expanded to the Americas over 500 years ago. Lots more travelling.

Italy and Southern Europe 8 percent. DNA out of here is trans-Adriatic and trans-Mediterranean. Still can't stand Italian or Greek food.

Northeastern Europe 4 percent. Genetically diverse with a genetic signature from Finnish, Northern Russian, and some Baltic peoples. Ancestry seen in some Scandinavian peoples. Go Norsemen!

"Deep Ancestry" is a hoot.

About 67,000 years ago: Branch/haplogroup L3, East Africa. Madagascar counts as East Africa. Can I be a lemur? L3 people went north. A lot of them. Way north.

L3 is shared by all women alive today, in Africa and around the world. The branch is the major maternal branch from which all mitochondrial DNA lineages outside of Africa arose.

About 60,000 years ago: Branch/haplogroup N, East Africa or Asia. These guys coexisted with other hominids including Neanderthals, and spread all over Asia, Europe, India, and the Americas. Descendants populated most of Europe. Via shanks' mare?

About 55,000 years ago: Branch/haplogroup R, West Asia. This DNA is found almost everywhere. Again with the traveling.

About 25,000 years ago: Branch/haplogroup T, West Asia. Widespread, and common in Eastern and Northern Europe. Branch T people figured out agriculture, domesticating plants, nuts, and seeds. Farmers don't travel much.

About 16,300 years ago, plus/minus 6,500: Branch/haplogroup T1, West Asia. Around 3 percent of the population in Luxembourg, Belgium, The Netherlands, Switzerland, and Portugal; 10 percent in Saudi Arabia, between 7 and 8 percent in Iran, Iraq, and Lebanon, 4 percent in Greece and Croatia.

About 14,500 years ago: Branch/haplogroup T1a, Southwestern Asia and Southeastern Europe. Found among people with ancestry from Greece, Turkey, Ukraine, southern Russia, Italy, Spain, Morocco, and Egypt.

The best part: "Your Hominin Ancestry," 50,000 years ago and older.

Average for homo sap is 1.3 percent Neanderthal; most non-Africans are about 1.1 percent. Helix uses what it calls a new "sophisticated analytical method" that looks at the parts of DNA shared with hominin populations and a person's complete regional ancestral components.

Me? 1.5 percent. Above average. I never doubted it.

Lots of travelers in my genetic past. And horndogs.

I saved the stupidest for last: "Your Genius Matches" (present-120,000 years ago).

Says Helix: "Here we estimate when in time you shared a direct female or direct male ancestor with a famous historical genius." The report used mitochondrial and Y-chromosome DNA.

Geez. Are people's egos are such that they will enjoy bragging rights over any tenuous connection?

Helix says I'm related to:

Petrarch, Italian poet, scholar, humanist. Abraham Lincoln, POTUS. Queen Victoria of the UK. Nicolas Copernicus, maths whiz. Benjamin Franklin, horndog. Marie Antoinette, queen of France. Napoleon, who marched 6 million soldiers to their deaths. Maria Theresa, Holy Roman Empress, Queen of Bohemia, Archduchess of Austria; mother of 16 children, including Marie Antoinette.

My New World ancestors fought to free themselves from kings and queens, so no thanks.

I'll claim Dr. Franklin and Mr. Lincoln, though. We geniuses have to stick together.

-30-

Life is a cabaret?

"Cabaret," which wrapped up a brief run Sunday April 15 as part of the "Broadway Comes to Reno" series, left me unsettled.

It took all night to figure out why.

The cast is strong, led by Erik Schneider, Bailey McCall Thomas, and Carl Pariso.

The show ends with Sally alone, drinking and using drugs. Her "Cabaret" solo is born out of desperation.

The only other stage production (also "Broadway Comes to Reno") that I saw, with Andrea McArdle in 2001-ish, made that song a celebration.

Sally is back in her fantasy. The outside world falls into hell but she's safely away. So is Liza's cinematic Sally.

This Sally loses her fantasy. And the show kicks the audience out of the fantasy, too.

Then comes the gut-punch ending with the Emcee in concentration-camp garb, branded with yellow and pink symbols.

The outside world, for real.

-30-

Mission accomplished

Damn, The Deflector in Chief is good!

For many weeks, anybody who criticizes him will be called "traitor."

-30-

Lazy storytelling

I finished watching "Stargate: Origins" last night, 10 online episodes ranging between 9 and 13 minutes long.

It was fine. Better than fine, given the "Stargate" drought. Strong acting, strong camera work, a scenery-chewing Nazi bad guy.

Puzzle: How was "Origins" going to fit in with the rest of the "Stargate" storyline.

Answer: It didn't. "Origins" took the lazy way out, letting the Goa'uld villain wipe out the memories of the travellers from Earth.

Distressing. It was worth the $20 fee, until that moment.

Very disappointing.

-30-

Still not a good sign

Dual citizenship?

Search online brought up comments about some new international reporting scheme to let the U.S. track tax cheats. Uh-huh.

Or, to let governments better track money moving across borders, to spot funding of terrorists. Uh-huh.

Or, to let the big banks consolidate entry points for customers with multiple accounts. Uh-huh.

Big Brother's a bastard.

-30-

Not a good sign

In order to log in to my Bank of America credit card account today, I was forced to update the information the faceless, soulless colossus has on me.

New question: "Do you have dual citizenship?" Answer required.

Trump's gestapo is branching out.

-30-

Around and around and again

Watching pigeons have a nervous breakdown's funnier than I expected.

Not funny for the flock of 30 or so birds, of course.

Yesterday a Cooper's hawk nailed a pigeon in our backyard. But the hawk couldn't figure out how to get out of the fenced-in space, so it stood on the victim for 30 minutes or so, eventually carrying it about 15 feet from a bench to beneath the honeysuckle arbor. Shortly thereafter, it abandoned its potential lunch. Linda took the deceased across the street and let it tumble down the riverbank until a rock blocked it.

This morning there wasn't a bird in sight in the neighborhood. Even the scrub jays took off, leading us to suspect the hawk was still here.

Noon-ish, the flock started making high-level passes around the house,  shadows flickering across the hillside. They circled and circled and circled, alternately clockwise and widdershins. It was almost 4 p.m. before they dropped into the backyard for the seed I put out at noon.

First though, the sparrows returned to the bush out front, then to the hanging feeders in back. They had a pleasant meal, not having to navigate around or under pigeons.

I wish nature wasn't "red in tooth and claw," but it is what it is. Minus one pigeon.

-30-

Rude raspberry sound

Changed my Facebook password anyway. So there.

Vescere bracis meis.

-30-

Facebook, beware

At 9:42 a.m. today, my flip-phone, a number I never give out, received a text message from 326-65 saying, "806838 is your Facebook password reset code."

No, it's not.

Dear scammer: Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon, as Timon of Athens desired of his enemies.

 -30-

A DirecTV screen to scream for ... or at

DirecTV changed its on-screen interface yesterday.

It sure is pretty, but the fancy new "info" and "channel change" displays cover up a third of the picture on the TV screen. The "exit" button is ssslllooowww.

Now, anything I want to do takes two or three more button-pushes than the old way. The actions I use regularly are at the bottom of extensive lists.

It puts info about the show that's first on the recorded list in a blue-framed box that takes up a third of the screen. Info I don't need at that moment. The previous way showed six or eight more titles.

Finding what's set to be recorded is a mystery.

The channel logos added to the guide's grid are colorful, though. And the shading to show which shows are in progress: stunning.

Summing up: I hate it.

Plus, last month's bill was up $10. Gotta pay for the beautiful, I guess.

###

I'm done with winter. Thirty minutes of shoveling this morning to rearrange 4 inches (measured via ruler) of overnight snow covering the back yard was misery.

Snow/ice crept in the pockets of my hoodie.

It's been snowing steadily for the last three hours, plopping a new stratum on the front walkway and driveway, which I do not have the strength to tackle, yet.

What's it take to cancel winter? I did my best.

Bought a 40-pound bag of ice melt, the smallest size Lowe's had.

Bought a plastic yellow/orange snow shovel to replace a metal shovel so old that the front corners curl up.

Damn, I gotta figure out how to afford to move to Hawaii.

-30-

Here we go again

Female writers of movies proclaim that "Black Panther" is a game changer. Uh, no.

"Wonder Woman" was proclaimed a game changer. Un, no.

"Panther" raked in a pile of dough bigger than Africa, but producers and financiers do not gamble on "game changers."

The title character's male, you probably noticed.

###

Distressing sidelight: A news story reported this week that mentally fragile Stan Lee, 95, is surrounded by vultures who are burning through the $10 million he got for "Panther" at rocket speed. He'll be penniless in days.

His wife of upteen years died recently, sending him into a tailspin.

I'd proclaim this sad, but that word's been ruined.

-30-

Brutality, all around

Our phone answering machine received two scam calls the afternoon of March 12. The first claimed that Ms. A.M.'s Social Security number was being suspended because of suspicious activity in "the state of Texas." Call back or else.

The second warned there was a Social Security lawsuit against it. Call back or else.

And on the same day, KOLO-TV's web site had a report that Reno-area people got calls the same day from the utility company threatening to turn off the electricity if they didn't pay immediately. 

The next day, a computer identifying itself as "Account services" called around 4 times, leaving no message with Ms. A.M.

Nevada should institute the old-fashioned Stocks on the Courthouse Steps punishment that offers raw eggs and rotten fruit to throw at the convicted criminal, because scammers rarely spend time in prison. Do it often enough and it won't be cruel or unusual.

-30-

Hep cat

"Black Panther" is better than I expected.

It has many of the same flaws that all comic-book adaptations (pardon me, graphic novel?) suffer.

It's too long and too enamored of J. Bond.

But the casino sequence in a knockoff of a set from "Skyfall" is a hoot. My memory screamed "what is that?" until I searched online. Got me.

For the 12:30 p.m. show, there were a total of 8 people in the audience. I missed the emotional  dynamic of a full theater.

On the other hand, I put my aching ankle up on the seat back in front of me.

I hate it when people do that.

-30-

Locked and loaded

Of course DJT thinks guns in schools are good. What does he see when he peers through a window in the White House? People with guns.

He lives surrounded by guns, uniformed guards and guns. But as with everything else in his misbegotten life, he inhabits an anomaly. 

I want the NRA incorporated as a militia which requires that all members show up twice a month for drills. Especially the Boards of Directors of the gun makers, since they own the NRA. People who own stock in the gun makers. Every political candidate who took donations from the NRA in the last 40 years. Every elected official who voted against gun control. The bastards who deleted the federal database on mentally ill people who should not have guns.  And their children. And Trump’s boys, who enjoy blowing away creatures that can’t fight back. 

You’ve got ready-made instructors: those Bundy-loving survivalists who claim the Feds are taking away their guns.

-30-

The crux of evil

The Florida school massacre was bad, beyond bad.  

Coverage wasn't helped by commentators going about how "it's Valentine's Day," as if that had any relation to mass murder.

Those intellectual incompetents was followed by people labeling the bastard "evil" or "crazy."

Crazy is an excuse he must not be given. Evil is a comic-book concept unconnected to the actual world.

###

James Garner’s title character in “Murphy’s Romance,” advising a boy on the meaning of cowboy hats:

It’s how you wear it that matters. 

Wear it back on your head, that means you like people, you got all day, and your digestion works. 

Tipped over on the side means you’re a rooster and you’re looking for a young lady or a fight, whichever comes first. 

Wear it square on your head low down on your forehead, that means get off the sidewalk and clear a path cause you’re cocked and ready to fire. 

Murphy, the boy and his father all push their hats back on their heads. 

The movie from 1985 was directed by Martin Ritt, and written by Max Schott, Harriet Frank Jr. & Irving Ravetch. 

It's been a long time since I first saw the movie; it finally turned up on premium cable the other night.

-30-

If this be treason

President Loudmouth says that people who don't clap for him are traitors.

Where do I find a smart-phone app that rolls out applause and cheers? Fake-sounding applause and cheers.

-30-

IQ Diarrhea Central

I'm nearly convinced that the Prez didn't collude with Russians, or anybody else.

His brain empties into his flapping mouth; he'd never keep it secret.

The people around him are witless, but if there is a Colluder, he was clever enough to keep it a secret from DJT.

-30-

Blip me running

The Roku-TV conspiracy has been resolved.

Wednesday afternoon, Speckles circled around, seeking to distract me from the computer. I didn't respond.

He walked in front of the monitor and jumped to the TV stand, where he promptly sat on the Roku remote.

The TV turned on; the Roku home screen appeared.

I pulled the remote from under his cute little Manx butt and dropped it in a drawer. He's good at opening the kitchen cabinets but he's never opened a drawer. Yet.

Here's Speckles' "who me?" face.

-30-

Slice, please

Robin Williams said cocaine was God's way of telling you that you have too much money.

Today's clue is Domino's "carryout insurance." On the Trump sucker scale, this rates 8 out of 10.

##

Surfed past an episode of the animated show "All Hail King Julien," a prequel to "Madagascar." The episode was from 4 years ago, early in the first season. The female character was the only one to take action to solve Julien's problem. All the males were upset but unable to accomplish anything, until Julien stumbled into a solution.

The female, perhaps named Clover (I didn't make a note), also was the only slender lemur. Everybody else was chubby.

Yes, I was really, really, really bored and I have too many channels.

I remember the same phenomenon, males flummoxed while the female takes action, in the "Penguins of Madagascar" TV show.

Before and after the crisis, the females are pushed aside.

On the other hand, I don't remember females at all in the cartoons of my childhood, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, Tom and Jerry, unless they were there to be harassed sexually. The females in "The Flintstones" and "The Jetsons" were passive, as were human females in sitcoms.

My childhood TV-viewing pre-dates "Scooby Doo," so I missed out on what became pop culture references.

##

Recent A Word A Day entries:

A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country.  — Hermann Göring, Nazi military leader (12 Jan 1893-1946)

A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. — Stendhal (Marie-Henri Beyle), novelist (23 Jan 1783-1842)

-30-

Blip my mind

The TV-set weirdness opens a new chapter:

Jan. 17, I woke up to find that the TV was on and showing the Roku home page.

Roku's on the 2nd HDMI input. With Roku's home page.

DirecTV's on the 1st.

The TV was on 1st when I shut it off the night before.

I discovered this about 8 a.m., shortly after the house's electricity blipped,  as I found out later. The microwave clock lost its hold on time, and a mattress-warmer controller blinked in distress.

Apparently, it also turned on the TV.

I turned everything off and crawled under the bedcovers, pulling the blanket over my head.

-30-

Dino grin

Made my first-ever visit to the Wells Discovery Museum in downtown Reno today, for the exhibit "A T-Rex Named Sue," which has a full-size copy of Sue's 90-percent complete skeleton.

Excellent exhibit with numerous info bits, video, buttons to push. Pieces of copy-Sue to touch.

Wow.

However, never in my life will I follow the instructions "push button and sniff." Supposedly, that kiosk delivers scents found where Sue hunted, trees, stream, etc.

"Push button and sniff." No good comes of that.

###

By way of proving that I can whine about anything:

My doctor's medical group/Renown octopus has an excellent Web site.

Except "MyChart" first loads a huge picture of Lake Tahoe.

The lab appointments page loads a huge picture of a river.

Which take for-fricking-ever to load. My Internet connection's fairly fast, but these images kill it.

Fact is, I know what Tahoe looks like, and a lot of rivers.

Get me to the page where I can make the lab appointment.

-30-

I want those 2.5 hours back

I waited a couple weeks for the crowds to melt away before seeing "The Last Jedi."

Since then, I've been trying to form an opinion other than "hated it."

I'm not finding one.

Sure, there are the writer/director's allusions to multiple old movies; I actually spotted three (don't know much about Kurosawa; Japanese movies didn't play Reno when I was young). Apparently, Johnson specializes in allusions. Since I've never heard of him before, I can't be sure.

Sure, there's the light-dark dichotomy.

Sure, there are the porgs, the vulptex, and the fathiers.

Sure, there's the avoiding "Star Wars" snares.

Sure, there's Luke returning to his whiny beginning.

I wish I could remember other characters' names, beyond Rey and Finn. And Leia, of course.

If the Force is with them, the creators of the next installment will recast Leia instead of dumping her. Fans are smart enough to catch on. I hope.

The day's best part? The butter-colored slime on my popcorn didn't climb back up my throat later in the evening.

-30-

Lost in the dark ... in more ways than one

Channel-surfing brought me to the show "Finding Bigfoot" on Animal Planet. It seems to follow the same moronic idea as various "ghosthunters:" wander around outside in the dark, or in a building in the dark.

Hey, idiots! Human eyes don't work well in the dark. That's why the taxpayers fork over huge amounts of money to buy night-vision equipment for the military, among other people. It's why low-light cameras exist.

If Bigfoot's there (he's not), he is laughing his hairy ass off.

Try daylight hours. You'll find the Sasquatch cave you totally missed in the dark.

Unless you trip and fall into it as you stumble around blind in the dark. That's gotta hurt more than your pride.

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