Wanted: The Pill

Farewell to two of my favorite TV shows. They're not canceled, but the producers have fallen into a deadly trap: Pregnancy in the leading lady.

"Bones" will be ruined by Tempe's pregnancy. "In Plain Sight" will be ruined by Mary's pregnancy.

Bet on it.

The creators will defend the decision to make each character pregnant because each actress is preggers. But, pregnancy changes every woman, in ways that men will never understand. If they proceed to motherhood, these TV moms will never be the fun, challenging characters they are now. It's bad enough to watch Mary Shannon try to squeeze a private life into the witness protection circus. Now, she'll have to find a nanny. And live with guilt.

Same for Temperance Brennan. Even if she's in love with Booth.

Evidence: "Moonlighting." The show cratered.

Evidence: "Deep Space Nine," best "Star Trek" ever. Painfully convoluted explanations of Nana Visitor's mom-hood did not work.

Come on, producers. You've got smart writers and directors and wardrobe people. Challenge them to keep the show going, while concealing the leading lady's expanding body.

Evidence: "Star Trek: The Next Generation," "Stargate: SG-1," "Search for Tomorrow." Every other daytime drama.

I enjoy shows that aren't trapped in a format, but free-range characters don't survive the chains of motherhood.

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A TV commercial for Charter Communications shows animals off the nursery wallpaper celebrating at the news that "we're having a boy." would they not celebrate if the future baby was to be a girl?

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